What is Mentorship?
We live near three little, glitter princess, superhero caped cousins. My children, 14, 12, and 10, are the perfect ages for gushing, holding, and doting over their precious, younger relatives. Nearly anytime we are together; you can find my pre-teen daughter holding the baby, coloring with the little girls, or fixing their hair. My oldest son will play peek-a-boo in his awkward, teenage boy way or will try to teach them a new dance trick or funny phrase. My ten-year-old son launches into full-blown play mode where he excitedly gets to be the oldest for once and lead whatever imaginary adventure the cousin group is embarking upon. While they are all having a blast either playing, teaching, or nurturing the littlest Newmans; you can also hear a lot of coaching about how to play a game, speak to each other, or execute a cool new trick. As I was watching my son lead the baby by the hand away from a dangerous activity to a fun game of toys on the floor, I thought of mentorship. Mentorship is a concept I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, particularly as my kids are transitioning into the teenage years. As I read books about parenting and attempt to engage my community of friends, family, and my children’s’ friends more intentionally, I find that everything ultimately comes back to this life habit of mentorship. Mentorship is holding each other’s hands and guiding toward something better.
Mentorship is a relationship in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person helps to guide someone with less experience or knowledge. Age is not relevant in mentorship so much as experience. My kids naturally fall into a mentorship relationship with their younger cousins because they have more experience in certain areas, and they are excited to share their knowledge with the next set of playmates. As my kids get older, my relationship dynamic with them is moving towards a mentorship role compared to my more hands-on approach to parenting from their toddler and early elementary years. When I think about how I live in relationship with my community, I can find mentorship everywhere. I regularly employ my mom’s advice when making challenging parenting decisions or navigating a hard situation with my children. I have close-knit groups of friends, each of whom brings their own expertise to a variety of topics and skills. I often sit under their tutelage when I’m working through a challenge or need more understanding about a topic in their wheelhouse. I hope I’m offering something to them as well. I think of the moms who are in seasons ahead of mine who’s wisdom and experience I drink up when in their presence. There are counselors and teachers at church and in my kids’ school and in other areas of our lives who mentor my family and me towards growth in a variety of areas. My husband works in medicine, and there have been many surgeons whose training experience served as necessary mentorship for my husband and his peers to develop into the surgeons they have become. Most doctors then move forward into medical practice with an attitude of mentorship as they support each other through cases.
The reality is that mentorship is this constant sharing movement towards growth and development that should be fluid; flowing naturally and joyfully through parents, children, friends, colleagues and nearly all other relationships in which we engage throughout life. Mentorship brings growth to the mentee and purpose to the mentor. Mentorship is one of the most fundamentally powerful ways the Lord uses our education, experiences, losses, wins, hurts, joys, successes, failures, and relationships to bring glory and redemption to His kingdom. Every life moment gives us something new to process and then add to our data bank of life experience. When we share it openly with those around us needing guidance or solidarity, it allows God to take every bit of who we are and what we’ve been through and pour it out into ministry with the power of His Holy Spirit. Just like my son, Isaac, so gently and happily takes the tiny hands of his younger cousins; I am so thankful for all the people in my life who so naturally and selflessly took my hand at different moments to guide me towards growth in an area they understood better than me. The cycle of mentorship can be such a beautifully natural flow through our families, tribes, and communities.
